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The New Normal
Coming Out as Transgender in Midlife
The New Normal describes my experiences starting with self-exploration through writing, to coming out as transgender, to going through full transition. My physical transition included laser hair removal, hormone therapy, and gender confirmation surgery (a.k.a. sex change operation).
Socially I "came out" as transgender first to close friends, then family, then at work. I went through the legal processes to become recognized as a woman, and update all of my identification to match.
ISBN-10 : 1916087507
ISBN-13: : 978-1-9160875-0-7
This book is not for the faint of heart. Popular images of transgender women make it sound like a casual decision to "get to go into the girl's locker room." No one pays attention to transgender men, they can hide much more easily.
What is it like to realize that identifying as transgender was so radical that you hid it from yourself for nearly fifty years?
Do you know how powerful the male sex hormone testosterone is? Or how drastically it changes you to no longer have much of it?
What is it like to give up male privilege? To get sexually harassed for the first time? The fear of having strangers on the street following you and loudly talk about you?
What is it like to come out to your family and be rejected by almost all of them?
What does a therapist write to allow you to undergo gender confirmation?
What is it like to cradle your male genitals for the last time, minutes before surgery?
What is the legal basis for a court to define you as a woman?
How much courage does it take to come out as transgender when you may lose your friends, family, job, and maybe even your life?
The New Normal starts with establishing the context to understand my transition. The first chapter outlines my childhood, the second chapter my adult life until my late 40s.
Then each chapter which follows describes what happened before coming out to myself, coming out, starting hormone therapy and what that feels like, coming out at various levels, deciding to undergo gender confirmation surgery, recovering from that surgery, and getting my legal status corrected.
Throughout, I cite scientific sources to explain transgender concepts and compare my experiences to others. The end of each chapter even includes questions which could be used for self-examination of your sexuality and gender identity.